We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Why are some individuals able to balance a full time corporate professional career, as well as pursue their passions via side hustles? Why are others able to build successful multi-million dollar businesses as entrepreneurs, and have a happy family, partner & kids at the same time?
What is limiting you from designing the life you love and living life on your own terms? What mindset should you adopt?
Here's 7 self-sabotaging habits that may be stifling you from reaching your goals.
1. YOUR UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT CRITICISM.
This is by far one of the most self-sabotaging habits. As a creator of your own life, you must be able to take constructive criticism. (Keyword: constructive. There is a definite difference between a legitimate comment and blatant degradation of your product/person.)
When it comes to feedback, you have to learn to accept both what you want to hear, and what you may not. You have to be open to absorb the negative and focus on a) being aware of the intent behind the person’s comment and b) the path you can take to move forward.
Criticism is a stepping stone in which to grow from; you must understand that it is not a commentary on who you are as a person, but a means of expressing areas of improvement (which will ultimately develop your career path from this moment forward).
Accept. Absorb. Learn. Let go. Move forward.
2. YOUR DEFEATIST MINDSET.
You are self-sabotaging your success when you constantly feed yourself negativity. When you are continually telling yourself you are ‘not good enough,’ ‘not ready,’ ‘ill prepared,’ ‘falling short,’ etc, you are only giving yourself room for failure.
If your mindset is already in a negative direction, then negative will manifest itself. In order to be successful, you have to create an attitude of strength, resilience, and empowerment.
Embody an “I can” mindset and step confidently forward into your next task.
3. YOUR EXCUSE-MAKING WHEN IT COMES TO SETTING ASIDE TIME FOR YOUR PASSIONS.
You won’t be at the place you want to be if you make excuses the entire journey there. Yes, you are busy. But so is everyone else. If you want something bad enough, you will prioritize and set aside the time to do it, even if that means you’re tired, inconvenienced, or overwhelmed.
All of this will pay off in the end; don’t let excuses get in the way.
4. YOUR INABILITY TO SAY ‘NO’.
There is nothing wrong with saying ‘yes’ to opportunities that present themselves, with being a go-getter, with chasing after experiences that feel right. But you have to recognize when you’re being pulled in too many directions; you have to acknowledge when your patience has worn thin and you’re so stretched that nothing is being given your full attention and care.
Saying ‘no’ does not mean you are weak or unable to handle something. ‘No’ is a boundary, a healthy one you must draw when there’s already too much on your plate. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and mental state. This will ultimately lead to more success down the road than stretching yourself too thin will.
5. YOUR SOLE FOCUS ON THE "UNACHIEVABLE".
You are sabotaging yourself when you’re constantly looking so far into the future that you fail to recognize where you are, or what you need to be working on right now. Goals are important, vital even, to have. Yet you can’t have goals that are so future-focused you become stifled, overwhelmed, or paralyzed with fear.
Create goals that are both long and short. Make the short term goals manageable in the sense that you are able to take little steps to conquer them in a few days. This will give you a boost of confidence to see those long term goals as manageable, rather than stress-inducing.
6. YOUR DISTRACTION BY SOCIAL MEDIA.
Your addiction to, and constant distract by social media is sabotaging your ability to create a successful business/empire/career. When technology affects you negatively i.e. you’re constantly pulled away by notifications, status updates, and mindless scrolling, you’re not only wasting time, but you’re comparing yourself instead of building yourself.
You cannot create a successful career or life for yourself if you’re continually dragged into an endless stream of pixelated images that will never tell the real story. Instead of getting sucked into the drama (and arrogance) of social media, create healthy boundaries for yourself.
Promise that you won’t look at your phone for a given time period while you’re working, mute notifications outside business hours, don’t answer your email over the weekend, perhaps explore a simple analog activity, etc. Giving yourself these restrictions will not only keep you on track, but will inspire you to enjoy life, rather than feel so pushed to document it.
7. YOUR FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.
Your fears are self-sabotaging. Without even meaning to, your fears have caused you to overthink, to question yourself, and to doubt the direction you’re heading. Don’t let this happen. Listen to, and respect your emotions & fears. But then understand that true success comes when you move forward in faith, despite them.
Realize that even though you cannot plan for what’s to come, you can do your best to prepare. Instead of letting yourself be defeated before you even begin, take baby steps. You will get there in time.
Believe in your resourcefulness and surround yourself with like-minded individuals with The Busy Woman Project - to be inspired, be supported and push past barriers to lead life on your own terms!
Article contributed by Marisa Donnelly - a Midwest-born, West Coast-based writer, poet, essayist, editor and author. She has published thousands of articles culminating over 21.2+ million page views on love, relationships, empowerment, self-love, faith, education, music/culture, healthy living, identity and purpose, among others.
Her work appears both in print and online, including Thought Catalog and Huffington Post. She currently resides in sunny San Diego, California.
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